tanks. lots of tanks.

tankyu tankyu tankyu tankyu tankyu two ever'one eenvolved een my cre'tive pro-sess, and een my lieeffe!!!

this was the last sentence anyone has ever heard from monsiur crete-du-juir, on may 15th 2008. first reported as a missing persons case, the police of brest, france had only one lead in finding Jacque Crete-du-juir: his moustache.

his moustace is one of a kind, that not only looks as if he were in a movie, but smells like he was in a porno--that is, he was the brests most infamous french tickler, and his moustace had it's own porno persona named le FUZZ.

le fuzz had many enemies. he was a convicted alduturer, spent most of his time in underground sex rings, and contracted many diseases down under (...monsiur's mouth), and when his partner's spouse found out that their significant other was involved in underground sex rings, involved with the most infamous moustache in the country, and that their wives and husband's now have herpes of the mouth, enemies were made, vendettas were sworn, and le fuzz was taken hostage.

months of torture--no oral sex--had it's toll on le fuzz, however very little effect on crete-du-juir. crete-du-jour had a confortable stay with his captors. Le FUZZ was subject to horrible tortures--waxing, putting gum in it and ripping it out, dried honey and gravy combed out-- given by the husbands and wives who lay victim to his seduction.

le fuzz perished, but monsiur crete-du-jour lived, but has since not been seen any where in france, or the tri country area. where is he?

france's police force has worked strenuously on the case, but to date have not gotten necessary clue's to monsiur crete's whereabouts.

"today is a new day," they say "crete will be found, by whatever means and measures!"

that was yesterday, but today, they have gone to some very extreme measures...

a tiger, a lion, a bear, a wolf, and a cheetah have all been let loose in france's rhone forest, and police hope to yeild at least a somewhat better idea of crete du juirs whereabouts, dead or alive.

"it's our last ditch effort: he must be found."

du juir's head was brought to police sometime after the wild animal's release, and it is undetermined which animal or animals have maimed and eaten him, but authorities assure the media that it was a very brutal bloody affair--citezens are relieved.