Wednesday, December 3, 2008

And more reasons why skate videos are like porn

they both give me a boner
the sound effects are essential
new tricks are always received well
fish eye lenses
only guys like them
only guys make them
(i guess i should insert elissa steamer in here somewhere, she crosses boundries, and probably also likes hardcore fisting like the rest of us dudes)
slapping tail
everyone tries to outdo each other with moves
you can't always get rid of your skate (and otherwise) boner by just not watching
busting on hips
"pole jamming"
sex and skating are illegal on private property
the people are cool
its an art form
you watch it with your guy friends sometimes, even though it can be awkward that one or more of them don't skate. i try to avoid people who dont skate, because they seem like a liability. like i am going to influence them into doing something, for lack of better terminology, un-kosher.

basically, i think that there should be a porn-skate video, that, the skating is part of the corny porn plot. like, chad muska gets home from a hard days skate (thats the skate part) to a house of screaming girls that want nothing more than his "circa" tatooed dick. then chad muska himself screws "barely legal" teens hardcore.

let me know how we can get into production of this. it will be sponsored by airwalk and bangbros.com