Monday, November 9, 2009
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
tanks. lots of tanks.
tankyu tankyu tankyu tankyu tankyu two ever'one eenvolved een my cre'tive pro-sess, and een my lieeffe!!!
this was the last sentence anyone has ever heard from monsiur crete-du-juir, on may 15th 2008. first reported as a missing persons case, the police of brest, france had only one lead in finding Jacque Crete-du-juir: his moustache.
his moustace is one of a kind, that not only looks as if he were in a movie, but smells like he was in a porno--that is, he was the brests most infamous french tickler, and his moustace had it's own porno persona named le FUZZ.
le fuzz had many enemies. he was a convicted alduturer, spent most of his time in underground sex rings, and contracted many diseases down under (...monsiur's mouth), and when his partner's spouse found out that their significant other was involved in underground sex rings, involved with the most infamous moustache in the country, and that their wives and husband's now have herpes of the mouth, enemies were made, vendettas were sworn, and le fuzz was taken hostage.
months of torture--no oral sex--had it's toll on le fuzz, however very little effect on crete-du-juir. crete-du-jour had a confortable stay with his captors. Le FUZZ was subject to horrible tortures--waxing, putting gum in it and ripping it out, dried honey and gravy combed out-- given by the husbands and wives who lay victim to his seduction.
le fuzz perished, but monsiur crete-du-jour lived, but has since not been seen any where in france, or the tri country area. where is he?
france's police force has worked strenuously on the case, but to date have not gotten necessary clue's to monsiur crete's whereabouts.
"today is a new day," they say "crete will be found, by whatever means and measures!"
that was yesterday, but today, they have gone to some very extreme measures...
a tiger, a lion, a bear, a wolf, and a cheetah have all been let loose in france's rhone forest, and police hope to yeild at least a somewhat better idea of crete du juirs whereabouts, dead or alive.
"it's our last ditch effort: he must be found."
du juir's head was brought to police sometime after the wild animal's release, and it is undetermined which animal or animals have maimed and eaten him, but authorities assure the media that it was a very brutal bloody affair--citezens are relieved.
this was the last sentence anyone has ever heard from monsiur crete-du-juir, on may 15th 2008. first reported as a missing persons case, the police of brest, france had only one lead in finding Jacque Crete-du-juir: his moustache.
his moustace is one of a kind, that not only looks as if he were in a movie, but smells like he was in a porno--that is, he was the brests most infamous french tickler, and his moustace had it's own porno persona named le FUZZ.
le fuzz had many enemies. he was a convicted alduturer, spent most of his time in underground sex rings, and contracted many diseases down under (...monsiur's mouth), and when his partner's spouse found out that their significant other was involved in underground sex rings, involved with the most infamous moustache in the country, and that their wives and husband's now have herpes of the mouth, enemies were made, vendettas were sworn, and le fuzz was taken hostage.
months of torture--no oral sex--had it's toll on le fuzz, however very little effect on crete-du-juir. crete-du-jour had a confortable stay with his captors. Le FUZZ was subject to horrible tortures--waxing, putting gum in it and ripping it out, dried honey and gravy combed out-- given by the husbands and wives who lay victim to his seduction.
le fuzz perished, but monsiur crete-du-jour lived, but has since not been seen any where in france, or the tri country area. where is he?
france's police force has worked strenuously on the case, but to date have not gotten necessary clue's to monsiur crete's whereabouts.
"today is a new day," they say "crete will be found, by whatever means and measures!"
that was yesterday, but today, they have gone to some very extreme measures...
a tiger, a lion, a bear, a wolf, and a cheetah have all been let loose in france's rhone forest, and police hope to yeild at least a somewhat better idea of crete du juirs whereabouts, dead or alive.
"it's our last ditch effort: he must be found."
du juir's head was brought to police sometime after the wild animal's release, and it is undetermined which animal or animals have maimed and eaten him, but authorities assure the media that it was a very brutal bloody affair--citezens are relieved.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
also....
wtf.... mad props to chris for this awesome moment captured, otherwise, i want to become a male cheerleader, and funny animal pictures are always acceptable.
no more bullshit. this is getting real
yeah, about that title; not real. not real, just like everything else on this blog. it looks like i actually rap, but its just words that don't make sense, and therefore cannot be real. while we are on the subject of the metaphysics of Harringtonn, i want to begin a series called "explorations of nothingness" where i describe and define things that are made of nothing. how will i do that? you ask. good question, and i don't have an answer. i don't need one. if something is nothing, then it can be described until your brain hemorrhages and you die, it still is both something and nothing at the same time, with imaginary details. for example, love is not real. it is nothing. there is no scientific evidence that proves love is real, because it is not measurable. however, we know that things connotated with love are real like boners and general horniness, but these can be effect of something unrelated. (morning wood for example, or the old "class clown") i guess the point to this "real or not real" expose is to get the general reading public (you) to think about arbitrary things that can be debated to be real or not real, but effect our lives very much.
what do you say?
what do you say?
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Things that should happen
1. the flaming lips play "in a priest driven ambulance" front to back live
2. a silent play with subtitles with a live score by animal collective
3. the term post-modern becomes obsolete
4. hank the third comes out with a r and b crossover album featuring stevie wonder
5. someone buys me a galaga arcade system
6. turn the drinking age from 21 to 20 and a quarter
7. get rid of the penny
8. teach muay thai in school
9. water flavored candy
10. real anti-gravity
gotta go
2. a silent play with subtitles with a live score by animal collective
3. the term post-modern becomes obsolete
4. hank the third comes out with a r and b crossover album featuring stevie wonder
5. someone buys me a galaga arcade system
6. turn the drinking age from 21 to 20 and a quarter
7. get rid of the penny
8. teach muay thai in school
9. water flavored candy
10. real anti-gravity
gotta go
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Friday, February 6, 2009
why 80s hair bands are like your lame little cousin
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^these are your lame little cousins (especially the one on the far right)
~they both run around in gay underwear type things all day screaming "jump!"
~you can't get rid of them no matter how hard you try
~everyone older than you still likes them, even though they're obviously really shitty people
~they get all the attention
~lame ass haircuts/hair dyes
~childish behavior
~they both are shitty musicians
~they deserve B level celebrity status at best, with a guest spot on a VH1 reality tv show
~they should be shot and/or brutally maimed with a garden hoe
~drug issues
~youd think by the way they dress, dance, sing, and play, that they are for sure gay, but you can't really be sure.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
scooters, vacation, fall
yo smack attack cummin back like jack on jack
scooterin like boulala and your on the back
here, im like a hare, hip hoppin and screwin like an auger
through ice theres water, fish and weed
youre lame like h. potter, phish, and creed
im raw like sars, squish, and boss tweed
look it up, crime nuts. fucked up like cig butts
butts nuts cock block crack rack pussy cat
ratt poison on the flaunt and kate's gone in a month
what a stunt good luck ya skinny.... (rhymes with runt)
bring back a leiderhosen for me to john grisham them ho's in
forever grateful i will be, dead as the black sea you will see
thats a pirates life for me, and im on a vacation
i wanna do some crunchin like its bacon
crash bandacoot and coots old as redwood roots
my boots is fly and you cant handle the truth
cause i kill a handle, stay up all night then rouse a rooster
he like yo, im a cock but your off your rocker
like a real show stopper-cyndi lauper
im like yea boy now a-doodle doo your whole farm
before i kill you and cook you till your warm
thats not vegan, and im turning colors like its fall
green and queezy, tilt then whirl then hurl then ball
cryin like orbison and crashin like holly
lonesome like williams, and changin like bowie
smack like ed and pollack like harrington
thats what i do, and i do just like everyone
the only difference is that i'm the chosen one
like jesus im our savior
from phony ass rappers with taste but no flavor
im a dude, shes a dude, hes a dude, cause we're all dudes.
scooterin like boulala and your on the back
here, im like a hare, hip hoppin and screwin like an auger
through ice theres water, fish and weed
youre lame like h. potter, phish, and creed
im raw like sars, squish, and boss tweed
look it up, crime nuts. fucked up like cig butts
butts nuts cock block crack rack pussy cat
ratt poison on the flaunt and kate's gone in a month
what a stunt good luck ya skinny.... (rhymes with runt)
bring back a leiderhosen for me to john grisham them ho's in
forever grateful i will be, dead as the black sea you will see
thats a pirates life for me, and im on a vacation
i wanna do some crunchin like its bacon
crash bandacoot and coots old as redwood roots
my boots is fly and you cant handle the truth
cause i kill a handle, stay up all night then rouse a rooster
he like yo, im a cock but your off your rocker
like a real show stopper-cyndi lauper
im like yea boy now a-doodle doo your whole farm
before i kill you and cook you till your warm
thats not vegan, and im turning colors like its fall
green and queezy, tilt then whirl then hurl then ball
cryin like orbison and crashin like holly
lonesome like williams, and changin like bowie
smack like ed and pollack like harrington
thats what i do, and i do just like everyone
the only difference is that i'm the chosen one
like jesus im our savior
from phony ass rappers with taste but no flavor
im a dude, shes a dude, hes a dude, cause we're all dudes.
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